Divorce for men who don't reach out for help can often be a silent nightmare. Too often, men do not seek the support they really need.
Divorce for Men
Unlike women who often seek out comfort from friends and family when going though difficult times, divorces for men are often very private affairs. Many men don't realize that there are people who can help them find the resources to deal with and understand the emotional and legal ramifications of ending their marriages. If you are a man going through a divorce, understand that seeking help does not indicate a sign of weakness; instead, it shows you care enough for yourself and your children to get the help you need.
Stay Healthy
The stress of a legal battle often takes its toll on a man's health. Resist the temptation to allow yourself to be overcome with anger and stress. Speak with your doctor about any of the physical effects of divorce you may experience. Ask his advice on how you can eliminate the physical and psychological issues you are facing. Let him know if your emotional state leads you to believe that you require medication or should be under the care of a psychiatrist. If you, at any time, feel suicidal or like you might physically harm yourself, seek medical attention immediately.
The Need for a Lawyer
Divorce for men without an attorney can be financially and emotionally devastating. In almost every situation, having legal counsel is a necessity for the father of minor children. Even those who don't have younger children and wish to file an uncontested and/or do it yourself, should probably find an attorney who practices family law. An experienced divorce attorney can help you understand your rights under the law.
Seek Help from Your Child's School
The first place children often express the emotional effects of divorce is school. Children whose parents are divorcing may experience depression and exhibit behavior problems. Schedule a meeting with your child's school counselor and/or teacher to discuss which, if any, effects your divorce is having on his school work or emotional well being. Ideally, your spouse and child should be present. During the meeting, openly express to your child that he can turn to the counselor or teacher, who are impartial, third parties, to help him deal with any feelings of sadness or anger. Request that the counselor or teacher contact you immediately if they think your child needs professional help.
Support Groups Can Help
A support group can provide you with an avenue to voice your rants and get advice from others who are or have been in your shoes. It can also be a great source for getting local attorney and/or childcare referrals. Many men benefit from joining a male only divorce support groups, especially before their marriages are legally over. This is because the divorce process for men may be significantly different than it is for women.
Educate Yourself
Become familiar with the divorce law pertinent to your state. Divorce for men who take an active role in its legal aspects is usually less overwhelming than it is for those who do not. This is especially true if you plan on attempting to file a divorce on your own, without the guidance of an attorney. Even if you are represented, read the forms your attorney prepares or signs on your behalf. Do not let yourself be overcome with the confusion which often comes with trying to interpret things of a legal nature.
Is Your Marriage Salvageable?
If you think there is a chance your marriage can work, ask your spouse to seek marriage counseling. Ending a marriage, for men and women, is a life altering event. One reason the divorce rate is so high today is because many people decide to end their marriage without taking the time to really ask "can my marriage be saved?" Assistance is available at many churches and through licensed counselors.
